


walk slow, come home and settle your bones

by tigerlo



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: And Soft Things, F/F, Fluff, mostly though this is full of feelings, with a sprinkle of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-20 17:04:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: Set after the I love you's.





	walk slow, come home and settle your bones

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not convinced this isn't dreadful but I've spent too long staring at it, so here you go, *throws it into the world*
> 
> There are a few vanity mini fics on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com) here if you haven't seen them already, too.

-

 

The house is mostly quiet around them now, save the soft sound of the clock radio on Vanessa’s bedside table.

 

They’ve taken to turning it on when they come to bed, to hide the sound of their voices, among other things, when they’ve got the kids here with them too.

 

Charity has a surprisingly thoughtful appreciation of music, Vanessa’s learned over the last year. Terrible taste occasionally too, but she likes the old classics, soft crooning lullabies that Vanessa hadn’t been expecting at all.

 

Vanessa can hear Charity’s low rumble down the hall as she smoothes a small dash of moisturiser over her face, drawing it down her neck, followed by a high pitched squeal from the smaller boys. She’s supposed to be putting them to bed, but Charity’s interpretation of that job is always slightly different to Vanessa’s, and she usually has to do her own version of settling them down once Charity’s done hyping them up.

 

She doesn’t mind though, because Charity’s trying, she’s trying to be a good mother and she’s trying to be a better person, not because Vanessa’s told her to, but because she _wants_ to be, and that’s more than good enough for Vanessa.

 

They quieten down an impressive amount before she hears Charity close their bedroom softly though, and Vanessa can’t help but smile as she waits for Charity to join her, the soft hum of Charity’s voice, singing along to whatever song is playing, preceding her entry into the room.

 

_Their_ room, Vanessa thinks with a smirk when she catches herself, because there’s evidence of Charity across every inch of this space. There are almost more of Charity’s things in her closet now than her own, her perfume sitting on Vanessa’s nightstand, three pairs of her heels kicked off in the same spot in the corner of the room, the book she’s reading balanced on the corner of the dresser where she dropped it this morning while she was brushing her teeth.

 

Vanessa loves it, the sheer permeation of Charity in here, in every room of the house in fact, because it lends itself to a permanence that Vanessa wants dearly and desperately and deeply. A permanence that she thinks they’re finding with more and more confidence now.

 

_Especially now_ , she thinks as the lingering memory of Charity’s lips and the tightness of her embrace warms her skin.

 

They’ve been toying with those three words for months, Vanessa’s been sure of them for months, but it hadn’t been the right time, it hasn’t been the right time.

 

She’s had to consciously hold them back because the last thing she had wanted was Charity thinking they were tied to the trial, or to pity, or anything beyond what they actually are. There’s a part of her too that had been worried, even with everything they’ve been through, with everything they’ve already committed to each other, that it would scare Charity away if she’d said them first.

 

So Vanessa had waited. Because she was so desperate not to ruin this, because, in spite of everything they’ve had to navigate, this is the happiest she’s been in her entire life.

 

And then Charity, against all expectation, had taken her breath away and said them first.

  
“If I could whisk you away to a posh hotel tonight, I would, you know.”

 

Charity’s words are as warm as the arms that wrap around Vanessa’s waist, and Vanessa sighs back into her touch when Charity pulls her close, whispering into her ear.

 

“The boys have promised to stay put tonight unless the house is burning down,” Charity purrs, Vanessa’s whole body melting in response. “So I’ve got you all to myself, no interruptions. Not ideal, I know, but it’s the best I can do with your sister conveniently absent.”

 

“What did you bribe them with?” Vanessa asks as her eyes flutter closed, biting her lip when Charity’s teeth nip her earlobe.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Charity says flippantly, her arms tightening around Vanessa’s middle, her hands running up to cup Vanessa’s breasts briefly, but with just enough suggestion that Vanessa’s breath catches. “Better things to worry about than what I’m going to buy our kids off with, eh?”

 

_Our_ , Vanessa glows. _Our_ kids.

 

Most of the night has been a blur if she’s perfectly honest, everything after their exchange in the kitchen a warm buzz around her. Charity’s barely left her side, which to be fair she doesn’t often when they’re in the safety of either of their houses anymore, not since Noah started coming around to them _together_ , but it’s been different tonight, every touch intimate somehow, full of all the things they’ve been aching to say aloud for weeks.

 

“You realise you’re going to be the fun mother when they’re teenagers, don’t you?” Vanessa asks without really thinking. She expects Charity to steer away from the kind of commitment that vision implies, but she just laughs in Vanessa’s ear instead.

 

“I know exactly what I’m doing, babe,” Charity replies, and the smile Vanessa can hear in her voice makes her heart flutter stupidly because Charity’s not pushing against a future with her anymore, she’s leaning _into_ it.

 

“And what is it you’re doing?” Vanessa asks lazily, tipping her head back onto Charity’s shoulder as Charity’s hands slip under her shirt.

 

It’s rhetorical, of course, Vanessa knows exactly what it is Charity’s doing as her palms move over her stomach, sliding beneath the cup of her bra to palm a bare breast before they withdraw and pull Vanessa’s cardigan off her shoulders, but sometimes she likes to hear Charity say it.

 

“I’m trying to seduce my girlfriend into bed if she’ll stop talking about our bloody kids for five seconds,” Charity mumbles to her neck, biting the warm flesh quickly, dropping the cardigan to the floor before her hands start on Vanessa’s trousers.

 

“Your girlfriend, who you love,” Vanessa adds, her hand moving up behind her to find Charity’s head, her fingers winding messily in Charity’s hair as Charity yanks her zip down.

 

“You going to prattle on about that all night?” Charity asks as her hands skirt up Vanessa’s sides and around to her front, plucking at the buttons of her shirt.

 

“Probably for the next month,” Vanessa replies smartly when the last button releases and a rush of cooler air hits her stomach.

 

She can feel Charity smile against her throat again before she bites down on the juncture of neck and shoulder and Vanessa bucks back into her, the hand in Charity’s hair tightening sharply.

 

There’s an apology on the tip of her tongue, but she knows it’s not necessary when Charity growls against her skin, her hand moving to palm Vanessa’s breast roughly as the other starts working the shirt off until that falls somewhere inconsequential, and Vanessa’s left almost completely topless.

 

She’d been worried about this waning, the way they want each other, worried that domesticity or stress would make it fade into the background, but it hasn’t in the slightest. Charity has the sex drive of a teenage boy, and the maturity to match sometimes, but Vanessa’s felt her own sexuality react to Charity like petrol on a fire, too. She can have Vanessa craving a quick shag up against the cellar door with one look across the pub, let alone when she really turns the charm on.

 

She wants Charity _always_ , without exception, in a way that’s only deepened after finding out who she truly is.

 

She’s not sure she’ll ever be over the flattery either, that Charity Dingle wants her when she could seduce anyone in the bloody world into her bed. Charity wants her. Charity _loves_ her.   

 

Charity’s hand dips below the waistband of her jeans, but Vanessa’s quick to catch her hand before she can touch her properly, because if she does, this is all over, Vanessa’s self-control already shatter-ready, and she wants a few things before she allows Charity to break it properly.

 

She can feel the question in Charity’s body before she turns around in her arms, but she answers it with a kiss, sinking her hands deeply into Charity’s hair, opening her mouth to beckon Charity in, groaning deeply but catching the sound at the last second.

 

“Don’t,” Charity husks, breaking the kiss sharply, her hands pulling Vanessa closer. “Told the boys we’d probably be play fighting, see, and that Ness might make a few funny noises but they weren’t to worry.”

 

“You did not,” Vanessa frowns immediately, the sheepish look in Charity’s eyes telling her that, yes, in fact, she absolutely did. “Charity-“

 

“I told you, I wasn’t going to be interrupted,” Charity replies, shaking her head. “Serious Business this, babe.”

 

Vanessa softens the scowl a little when she thinks about it because actually, this is the height of a romantic gesture for Charity, pre-planned and everything, even if it is wildly inappropriate. It’s actually so _Charity_ that Vanessa has to smother a laugh in the end, before Charity rolls her eyes and slips her hands down against Vanessa’s backside, beneath the fabric of her underwear and trousers.

 

“Fine,” Charity grumps, “then you’re going to hang onto that until they’re out of this flamin’ house and I can get any noise out of you that I want.”

 

“What a terrible punishment,” Vanessa sighs dramatically, her palms sliding over Charity’s shoulders, down to her waist to free Charity’s top from her pants.

 

“Oh, it will be,” Charity offers, her breath silky as she watches Vanessa undress her, lifting her arms so Vanessa can pull her top off over her head, leaving her in a black bra. She sets her eyes on Vanessa when it’s done and the intensity of her gaze makes Vanessa’s knees weak, weaker still when she pulls Vanessa to her by the loop of her jeans. “You’ll be screaming an’all.”

 

“Going to save the good stuff for then, are you?” Vanessa asks when Charity drops to her knees, taking Vanessa’s jeans with her, nipping the inside of Vanessa’s knee with her teeth as she steps out of them.

 

“What am I? An amateur?” Charity questions as she stands, raising her eyebrow high in offence. She takes a step towards Vanessa, her gaze predatory, and in one smooth motion she has Vanessa on her back on the bed, straddling her hips. “I don’t think so, babe,” Charity purrs, running her finger down the hollow between her breasts. “What a waste that would be.”

 

“A waste of what?” Vanessa asks, watching as Charity steps back away from her to divest herself of her own pants, kicking them off roughly before climbing back over Vanessa’s hips, settling down on Vanessa’s thighs.

 

“Of all this perfectly good skin,” Charity replies devilishly before she drops her head and takes the skin at the top of Vanessa’s breast, above the line of her bra, in her mouth.

 

Charity’s hand moves around her back, her fingers snapping the clasp of Vanessa’s bra open easily before they drag the straps down her arms, and her mouth can move towards more sensitive skin.

 

Vanessa’s palms find the warmth of Charity’s back, slipping beneath her bra strap too as Charity takes the skin against her teeth, sucking sharply. Vanessa’s back arches off the bed in reply as her nails grasp to find purchase to steady herself, scratching a handful of messy parallel lines across the smooth skin that Vanessa knows she’ll trace her fingertips over later, kissing away the sting.

 

Some nights Charity’s in a hurry when they fall in bed together, not because they have anywhere else to be, not anymore, but because her desperation has already reached a peak by the time she’d been able to drag Vanessa away somewhere private. She seems content to take her time tonight though, kissing the skin available to her lazily, her hands running up and down Vanessa’s sides, her thumbs occasionally grazing the pebbled skin of her nipples before they move away teasingly.

 

It hasn’t been an easy few months, not by any stretch of the imagination, but they’ve come through the other side more unscathed than Vanessa thought they might. She knows that Charity has a long way to go before she starts to heal, but she thinks she’s helping, she’s sure she is, because Charity doesn’t run when she’s upset anymore, she might storm out or throw out a dinner Vanessa's just spent two hours making, but she doesn’t leave.

 

She stays, and eventually she makes her way back into Vanessa’s space, or she waits for Vanessa to come into hers, apologising with a mumbled _sorry, babe_ or a kiss, or both, and it’s not easy sometimes, because the patience it requires is a feather short of extreme occasionally, but it’s so worth it, Vanessa doesn’t even know where to begin putting it into words.

 

Because when she calms down, Charity opens herself up completely, she lets Vanessa see all the rawness she’s hidden from everyone else her entire life, or thrown at them in anger, and Vanessa can show her how much she adores Charity for revealing it in return.

 

Her hand threads into the hair at the nape of Charity’s neck as Charity kisses her way up Vanessa’s throat, along the line of Vanessa’s jaw until she reaches her lips. The other comes to join its partner and both of Vanessa’s palms curl around the base of Charity’s skull, holding her close as Charity kisses her so deeply she can feel it in her toes when they curl in pleasure.

 

She holds the hair away from Charity’s face when she pulls back to catch Vanessa’s eye, tucking it behind Charity’s ear, grinning when Charity leans into the touch, turning her head sharply to press a kiss to the heel of Vanessa’s palm.

 

Her hand wraps around Vanessa’s and she kisses her way down Vanessa’s wrist, along her forearm, over the curve of her elbow and up her arm until she reaches Vanessa’s shoulder, and there’s an underlying tenderness that makes Vanessa wonder if Charity’s waited most of her life to be able to kiss someone like this.

 

“Thinkin’ about how wonderful I am?” Charity asks with a wink as her forefinger trails down Vanessa’s stomach.

 

It would be barely discernible to anyone unless they were looking, but there’s a constant hint of insecurity to Charity’s words in some moments, her tone strong but the soul that’s always been so starved of softness and love faltering behind it.

 

Vanessa doesn’t mind those moments though, she’s grateful for them in fact, because she can provide reassurance where she knows no one else ever has.

 

“Something like that,” Vanessa smirks, tracing the line of Charity’s jaw with her thumb.

 

She has to save the sentimentality for special occasions with Charity, because she’s aware of how it was used in the past, false and overdone by some to the point of Charity not believing a word that came out of their mouths. Every word that comes out of hers is genuine, and she’d say them more often every day if she could, but she knows quality over quantity will slowly show Charity how much she means them all.

 

Tonight she thinks she can be as sentimental as she wants.

 

She sighs as she looks into the mix of green in Charity’s eyes before she continues. “How wonderful you are,” she breathes softly, “how proud of you I am. How much I love-“

 

Charity’s lips close over hers before she can finish, and she knows it’s not Charity silencing her, she knows it’s because Charity can’t keep herself from absorbing as much of Vanessa as she can in this moment, so she melts into the feel of their lips sealed, and she groans when she feels Charity’s hand slide beneath the waist of her underwear.

 

She’s not sure if it’s the fact that it’s been a few nights since they’ve had the time to do this properly around the chaos of Charity’s destructive little spiral, and the visit to her father, or whether an admission of love really makes sex more powerful, but the feeling of Charity against her makes her whole body fire brightly.

 

Her touch is firm but lazy, and Vanessa groans against Charity’s tongue as her fingers circle and swirl and Charity sets a pace for her to rock her hips against.

 

Charity’s lips curl against hers, amused at Vanessa’s eagerness, but she doesn’t tease or joke, she moves her mouth to Vanessa’s neck instead, her teeth dragging lightly before her tongue runs over the same line, smoothing the tingle she creates, locking the feeling beneath Vanessa’s skin.

 

She can hear the faint lullaby from the radio next to them, but everything else is a buzz, a low and distant hum that only deepens and envelops her when Charity’s fingertips dip low and she slides effortlessly inside, Vanessa’s whole body tensing around that one single point, grasping desperately at the pleasure that ebbs out with every slow thrust.

 

There’s no haste in Charity’s touch tonight, there’s no hurry, there’s only a deep concentration that Vanessa can feel in the curve of her shoulders, that she can feel in Charity’s breath, like she’s trying to memorise every second of this for fear that it will disappear one day.

 

If it does, it won’t be on Vanessa’s word, it won’t be at her beckoning, because she’s known for a while that she’d follow Charity into hell and not look over her shoulder once. She’s known for a while that she’ll see out the end of her days with the woman everyone thought was too broken and too sharp to love, if Charity will have her, because actually, she’s so effortlessly easy to love sometimes, that Vanessa’s not sure how everyone else has been stupid enough to miss it.

 

Sometimes she’s not, mind. Sometimes it’s hard bloody work and Vanessa wants to scream into her hands, but those moments are fading in their frequency as Charity leans in and accept the love all around her. It wouldn’t matter if they weren’t though, because actually, Vanessa wouldn’t change a damn thing about her, even if she could.

 

Charity is the sum total of her past, Vanessa knows this now that she’s seen into the cracks and listened for the pain. She’s the product of her environment and the people around her that have taken and never given back, that have ruined and left Charity to live with the scars and the shame and the burden of that. She should be so broken her legs won’t keep her upright, but she’s standing, she’s alive, she endured, she defied, she’s proud and she’s fierce and she’s angry but she’s here, and Vanessa couldn’t love her more for it.

 

She can feel the curve of Charity’s nipples against the skin of her own breast as Charity pushes her towards an end, she can feel every inch of her exhale, she can hear the roughness of Charity’s breath before she realises that might be her own too.

 

Charity’s hand covers her mouth to obscure the sound when she comes, and Vanessa bites down around one of her fingers hard to suppress as much of the noise as she can too, but it’s an almost impossible task when Charity’s so deep inside her, Vanessa can almost feel the pulse in Charity’s fingertips.

 

“More, Ness,” Charity whispers into her ear, a warm rush flowing over the skin of her neck as her whole body bucks up towards Charity’s, her back bent and her heart high. “Give me a little more.”

 

She’ll give Charity everything before she leaves the solidity of this earth.

 

_Everything_.

 

But she’ll start with this.

 

-

 


End file.
